Navigating the Traps of Iblis in Marriage: How to See the Treasure Before You

Marriage is a sacred bond meant to bring peace, love, and companionship. Yet, many couples face challenges that threaten to break this bond before it truly begins. Ustadah Laila Nasheeba recently shed light on one of the most cunning traps laid by Iblis: the destruction of marriages and families. His goal is to lead as many humans as possible to hellfire by sowing discord and doubt between spouses, even before they fully unite. Understanding these traps and learning how to resist them can help couples protect their relationships and recognize the treasure they already have.

Personal Jinn advising a woman

How Iblis Uses Personal Jinn to Destroy Marriages

One of the most subtle ways Iblis works against marriage is through the influence of personal jinn. These jinn whisper doubts and fears into individuals' hearts, often rooted in past failed relationships or negative experiences. Even a righteous man and woman can fall prey to these whispers, causing them to see each other as unsuitable partners and to give their marriage no real chance.

For example, a woman who experienced betrayal in a previous relationship might be overly suspicious of her new husband’s intentions. Similarly, a man who was hurt before might focus only on his wife's perceived flaws, ignoring her good qualities. These thoughts are not always conscious but can grow quietly, leading to separation or divorce before the marriage even begins.

This tactic is a clear example of how destructive and cunning Iblis and his allies are. They exploit past pain and personal insecurities to prevent the formation of strong, loving families.

The Prophet’s Guidance to Differ with Iblis

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us to differ with Iblis. When the devil appears as an advisor through our personal jinn, we should do the opposite of what he suggests. This means resisting negative thoughts, doubts, and hasty decisions, especially in marriage.

The Prophet emphasized patience and mercy as key qualities in relationships. He told one of his companions that he loved two characteristics in him: mercy and an unhurried manner. This advice reminds us that rushing into decisions or reacting impulsively often leads to regret and harm.

Practical Steps to Differ with Iblis in Marriage

• Pause before reacting: When negative thoughts arise about your spouse, take a moment to reflect.

• Seek counsel from trusted sources: Talk to wise family members, friends, or religious leaders who can offer balanced advice.

• Focus on the positives: Remind yourself of your spouse’s good qualities and the reasons you chose them.

• Practice patience: Understand that every relationship has challenges, and patience is a virtue that strengthens bonds.

  
  

Why Women Should Stop Chasing Rainbows

Ustadah Laila Nasheeba urged women to stop looking over the rainbow for a prince charming. Rainbows are illusions—beautiful but fleeting and not a reliable place to find happiness. Instead, she encouraged women to realize that there is no place like home and that often, the prince charming is standing right in front of them.

This means appreciating the partner you have, rather than constantly searching for an idealized version that may not exist. Many women fall into the trap of comparing their spouse to unrealistic standards shaped by stories, media, or past disappointments. This comparison blinds them to the treasure they already possess.

How to Appreciate the Treasure You Have

• List your spouse’s strengths: Write down three good qualities for every flaw you notice.

• Celebrate small acts of kindness: Notice and appreciate everyday gestures that show love.

• Communicate openly: Share your feelings and listen to your spouse’s perspective without judgment.

• Build shared memories: Spend quality time together to deepen your connection.

  
  

Men Need to Recognize the Hidden Treasures in Their Wives

Men often overlook their wives' good qualities, focusing instead on minor faults. The Prophet said that for every bad quality a man finds in a woman, there are three good qualities that outweigh it. Unfortunately, many men only realize the value of their wives when someone else shows interest or when it is too late.

This lack of appreciation can lead to dissatisfaction and even divorce. Men must learn to see their wives as treasures, recognizing their strengths, sacrifices, and love.

Ways Men Can Value Their Wives More

• Express gratitude regularly: Thank your wife for her efforts and presence.

• Avoid harsh criticism: Focus on constructive feedback rather than fault-finding.

• Support her dreams and goals by encouraging her personal growth and happiness.

• Spend time together: Prioritize your relationship amid life’s demands.

  
  

Haste Comes from Iblis, Patience Comes from Allah

One of the most important lessons from the Prophet is that haste is from Iblis and patience is from Allah. In marriage, rushing decisions or reacting impulsively can cause irreversible damage. Patience allows couples to work through difficulties, understand each other better, and build a stronger foundation.

For example, if conflicts arise, taking time to cool down and discuss calmly leads to better outcomes than reacting in anger or separating immediately. Patience also helps couples forgive past mistakes and move forward with renewed commitment.

Building a Marriage That Resists Iblis’s Traps

To protect your marriage from the traps of Iblis, couples should:

• Strengthen their faith together by praying, reading the Quran, and seeking knowledge as a couple.

• Create a support network: Surround yourselves with family and friends who encourage your relationship.

• Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and focus on healing.

• Communicate honestly and kindly: Share your thoughts and feelings openly without blame.

  
  

By doing the opposite of what the personal jinn advise—resisting doubt, impatience, and negativity—couples can build lasting marriages filled with love and mercy.

Ustadah Laila Nasheeba